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First Person Narrative

Love and money are becoming important in today’s society. In the process, people forget the importance of facts and truth. In nearly all the cases where this is dominant, people end up either denying or ignoring the truth. One of the reasons for this is that love and money can provide a comfort that the truth cannot. Sometimes facts may cause discomfort and essentially make one unable to live life as before. Thoreau realizes this in his book and the quote that he uses as his conclusion will be the basis of this narrative. The narrative will feature some of the choices that I have heard to make between truth and love.

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Growing up, everything always seemed to fit in. Whenever I needed anything, it was always easy to ask my parents or any other person around. My parents are smart and seemed to always have all the answers. They knew a lot about nature, and even some of the materials that were not entirely natural. For this reason, my curiosity about this kind of life persisted. When I went to school, most of this ideas lived with me. I constantly questioned teachers and had a general interest in science and languages at school. I found the subjects appealing and able to explain all the mysteries that I had always wondered about.

At that young age, I did not notice any contradictions in the information I was being offered. There seemed to be a natural order of things. Wind would blow, seasons would pass, rain would fall. All of this looked like it was predestined to me. At the bottom of it all, there seemed to be a grand planner. Someone who was responsible for all this. For me, it seemed like mankind was at the center of all this. No conflicts. Science would show the relationships between man and other animals. However, mankind would seem to be overall greater than all other animals. At a young age, nobody explained why this seemed to be the case. It all seemed like a plan, one well ordered plan that was well designed.

My parents believed it, and so did most of the adults that I interacted with at the time . It seemed that to be pious was a virtue at the time. No one ever questioned the existene of god. I was an introvert, and ultimately, this led me to the world of books. I would sit down in a quiet place, away from everyone and read silently. I found these comfort zones quite relaxing. No one would ever question me there. My parents were proud as these quiet places were a comfort for them too. I would not bother anyone but would instead concentrate on my reading all alone. For a young mind, I read quite a lot. I started knowing about all the animals and soon realized that they were more than anyone could ever imagine. There were other species that did not quite qualify as animals. Learning about all these was overwhelming. I started to see things from a different angle. I would ask my parents, but as a teenager, they did not seem to have the answers I needed.

Why are some animals dangerous?

What kind of all powerful being would make it possible for people to die by disease? I would wonder. The child in me was starting to conflict with the teenager. For my parents, this seemed to be part of growing up. They blamed it all on puberty. However, I knew there was something more. There was something more than just wanting to rebel. I wanted to know. I wanted the truth. The cold hard truth. I loved my parents dearly. It seemed to me that they would never lie, at least not intentionally. There were now two options I could work with. The whole world either believed in a lie, or I was wrong about the existence of a supernatural being.

Shortly after I began to contemplate some of these things. My mum fell ill. She was taken to hospital. ,the diagnosis came positive for breast cancer. The church group and friends of hers were supportive. They encouraged her to keep praying and that the almighty God would heal her. However, for me, this moment was filled with rage. Why would an entinty, supposedly responsible for all creation on earth give my mum cancer. Why would the entity not care enough. My  mum had been the most supportive person I had known. Seeing her suffer was disheartening. The man in me would weep and mourn. I would try to pray, but my faith was weak, and I was starting to get mad at God. I did not believe fully, and the slightest thoughts of this would make me mad.

The doctors worked tirelessly but my mother was in constant pain. She left me under the care of a nanny. There always seemed to be a tear in her eye when she asked how I was. She looked worse yet still cared enough for me. I would cry, but not in her presence. I did not want her to see how much I was hurting too. I knew her pain was greater than anything I was feeling at the time. I would try to comfort her, but break apart and move away. I would mourn silently.

The doctors worked their best and soon  she got better. This was some sort of miracle as many described it. However, for me, it was relieving yet not miraculous. I wanted her to live, and she did. It was special, but exactly what I wanted. At the same time, her ultimate recovery opened new ways of thinking for me. One of the things I realized was that this was the only life I had. I had to make the most of it. I figured that in a minute, we could lose the one we loved the most. Unlike all that I had been taught, life did not come with a prepackaged meaning.

I tried to discuss this new discovery with my dad. He immediately called me a heathen. I had not just as yet told him that I no longer believed in a God. For him, the truth was harder to swallow. The teenage me was terrified, just as I had been with the truth. At this point, I figured out a lot of things, the people we loved most would not always agree with us. They would not always see things from our perspective. I was young, but I already knew one truth. Would I sacrifice it for the love that my family offered. I figured out this would be hard at this young age. I therefore decided to keep it to myself. I would not tell anyone. Instead, I would love.

In conclusion, this is an example of a scenario where I chose love over truth. This is as expressed in the quote that was the basis of my essay. There were conflicts and the decision was not an easy one to come to. Overall, a lot of pain, despair, regret and questioning are involved before such a decision can be arrived at. As a young person, such decisions are particularly difficult, yet in the end mind opening. I hope that with such truths in mind, I will keep living a fulfilling life.

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